Sunday, February 22, 2015

A Blonde and her Jaguar

Here's one of my dad's recent jokes:

Carolyn, a very rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sports car.

She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't go at all.

After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealer, and they send out a technician to her.

The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it.

So he turns to the blonde and asks: "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears?"

Full of anger, the blonde replies:

"You nut, you idiot, how on earth you could ask such a question? I'm not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears;

I use "D" during the day

and "N" at night."

Sweep Links for 2/22/15

Cross Country Cafe - Win four boxes of K-Cup coffee - Ends 2/28/15

Michael Stars - Win a $3,000 gift certificate - Ends 3/4/15

Shop Marriott - Win a 5-day hotel stay and a free bedding set - Ends 3/9/15

Crucial - Win a MacBook Pro - Ends 3/22/15

Florida Orange Juice - Win an Orlando vacation - Ends 3/27/15

Lands End - Win a British Virgin Islands vacation - Ends 4/1/15

Live Nation - Win a trip to the Motley Crue show in Los Angeles - Ends 4/20/15

Domaine Porto Carras - Win a trip to Greece - Ends 4/30/15

Quicken Loans - Win a free year of mortgage payments - Ends 9/27/15

Ford - Make the Switch Car Giveaway - Ends 12/30/15

Disney Pins On Sale

I'm going to try selling some of my Disney pins that I don't know what to do with. Usually I try to frame them or do something else creative to show them off.  But I don't know what to do with this one. Click on over if you're interested!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

News IQ Test

Being the dutiful daughter that I am, I'm passing this along:

This is a terrific test. And it shows results in a number of ways. It surely indicates that the majority of Americans don't know what's going on. It's astonishing that so many people got less than half right. The results say that 80% of the (voting) public doesn't have a clue, and that's pretty scary. There are no tricks here -- just a simple test to see if you are current on your information. This is quite a good quiz and the results are somewhat shocking. Test your knowledge with the challenge of 13 questions, then be ready to shudder when you see how others did: 
Please pass it on!

Sunday, December 14, 2014

There'll be spell to pay later!

My dad sure loves to pass along these "St. Peter at the pearly gates" jokes! Here goes:

A woman arrived at the gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her: "Hello! How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.


The woman correctly spelled "l-o-v-e" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my new wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.


Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry....there will be SPELL to pay later!

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Japanese people take their calculators very seriously.

My dad recently sent out a link to this video with this commentary:

The Japanese culture seems to try to perfect their methods in whatever they do.  Usually, there's a ranking system to denote the proficiency of their skill level.  This is done in the martial arts, fine arts, and even the soroban (abacus).  Now, it's the calculator.  Must say, that girl has pretty fast fingers.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

New Virus--NO PRANK!

Wisdom often manifests itself in the form of sage advice:

With the holidays coming up and all the shipping of gifts, this may be very important to be aware of.....

New Virus--NO PRANK! This is worth passing along. With the holidays coming up, I can see where this could be a real problem. The newest virus circulating is the UPS/Fed Ex/USPS Delivery Failure.You will receive an e-mail from UPS, Fed Ex, or USPS along with a packet number.It will say that they were unable to deliver a package sent to you on such-and-such a date. It then asks you to print out the invoice copy attached. DON'T TRY TO PRINT THIS. IT LAUNCHES THE VIRUS! Pass this warning on to all your PC operators at work and home. This virus has caused Millions of dollars in damage in the past few days. Snopes confirms that it is real.